I adore my younger brother, Bryan. He has often been the bearer of little pearls of wisdom, the type that make you the adult gape speechlessly at him. A veritable old head on young shoulders. And then, thankfully, he's back to his nine-year-old self, cracking us up with some of the things he says. So I took to compiling some witty sayings of his. And I use 'witty' loosely, of course.
Me: Koko (a place in Camden) is not a bad venue at all
B : Yeah, the koko there is delicious.
(Afterwards, he INSISTED he knew I was not talking about the porridge - koko - but rather, a place called KOKO...and that he was all about the homophone. Yes, he is also a quick thinker)
Me (looking at his tummy): Ei Bryan, are you getting a six-pack?
Him (looking puzzled): A six-pack of what?
Me: In the Hispanic languages 'J' is pronounced 'H', so we have names like José, Javier...
Him (very triumphant): so Jack would be Hack?
Me (painting my toenails with him standing nearby):You're standing so close, I KNOW you're going to step on my toes and ruin the polish!
B: I'm only staring because it's like art on your toes.
(Whew. That's alright then - anybody can tread on my freshly painted toes, if they can come up with such a cool reason)
When he was much younger, I gave him a bath, and as I was towelling him off, he sighed contentedly, ' ah..that was a nice bath.' And then, after a pause he added, ' how does it feel?'
'How does what feel?' I asked distractedly
He broke into a huge smile. 'How does it feel to be my factotum?'
Another time, he held my mum's ring finger and said, 'Mum, if I keep rubbing your ring, a genie will appear.'
And she replied, 'No, that's just a fairytale.'
And Bryan, completely wide-eyed, gasped at the ring, 'So THAT's not even a real ring - it's a fairytale!'
And oh gawd, the raps:
David hay, david ray
What you doing on the way
Reading a newspaper, having some fun, why dyu ask anyway?
My name is Jace
I wanna do a race
But I need some space
Or I'll get my suitcase
I'll LEAVE! Oh-oh-oh Steve
Chorus: so bad, so sad it even makes me mad.
And then the kicker:
B: People who have compensation are in a lot of pain, because they can't poo.
err...we think he meant 'constipation'!
Yes, I love him alright, my funny, smart brother.